“He’s doing it all wrong” said the long dead leader of Nazi Germany on Sunday.
“He stomps like a stier in a glas shop. Does he plan to rule what is broken? Scheisse.”
After Trump started to use more than one prejudice scapegoat during his long and spirited presidential campaign, Hitler said he felt as though the genius of Trump’s influence was beginning to fade.
“If it was either the muslims or the mexicans, people could get on board with that. But both? He has built walls that do nothing more than hold the growing civil unrest closer to his heart. He has stretched himself too thin, and people actually think they have rights now. Whatever happened to making them believe you were a god before you started bending the shape of the world?”
Hitler’s change of heart came late Saturday after he found himself unable to get behind the terrible tactics of the new American president. As a man who takes pride in his advanced racial rhetoric, tyranny, and alternative-facts, he said at this point he finds himself “more disappointed than anything”.
“It’s just kids these days. They walk around with their cell phones and their tweerter, their bank accounts full of father’s reichsmarks, and they think to themselves ‘I can rule a country and impose my prejudice personal views until those that oppose me are alienated or exterminated’. Well I got news for you bucko. Nein. If you want that kind of power, you need to be smarter than that, or the world is just going to swallow you up as another pathetic attempt at something great.”
Early on Hitler said he did what he could to lend Trump his support, but the stubborn young upstart refused to listen. Hitler looked up sparingly as he packed his bags, saying now he’s just on the lookout for the next rising star who he hopes will stand a better chance.
“I don’t want to be here when the dust settles.”