Timmy Drowns After Aloof Father is Unable to Engage with Pleas from Lassie

After playing too close to the only functioning well in North America, Timmy Martin tumbled over the shallow wall and into the water, where he later drowned.

Upon falling into the well, Timmy’s faithful dog Lassie raced back to the farmhouse. She allegedly barked and yipped for minutes, even going so far as to tug on the sleeve of Paul Martin’s shirt. When even this clear message was not received, Lassie took off for town,  returning with help only to find that Timmy hadn’t been able to keep his head above the water.

“Of course I know she’s smart. She can sit, and stay, she even knows the bit about leaving the treat on her nose. I’d just never seen her do anything like that, and she’s never really had anything to say that I actually cared about.” said Paul while holding an arm around his wife Ruth, who had been in town during the incident.

“You hear about these things happening somewhere else, and you assume it could never happen to you, let alone in your own backyard,” said Ruth between tears, “we’re devastated.”

Many are calling into question the lack of communication that has resulted in the death of eight year old Timmy Martin, seeing as many of the town members were very quickly able to detect an urgency in Lassie’s actions, even though she’s just a dog and wasn’t actually speaking words.

“I’m not a dog person by any means, you could even say we don’t see eye to eye, but I mean, sometimes you got to put aside your differences and do what you can to understand each other” said Forest Ranger Corey Stuart, “If she had come to me first, we might be telling a different story today.”

When asked why she chose to approach Paul and not other town members, Lassie walked us to Martin’s extensive library and collection of research papers. Martin himself is commonly known for his intellect and thorough research, but this monumental failure to communicate has him second guessing what it actually means to have understanding and knowledge.

“I wish I’d paid more attention to what she was trying to say instead of just assuming it wasn’t a message for me.”

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